I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize