i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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