Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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