need another drink. this is the easiest way
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
