wakey wakey hands off snakey
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
