he was CRYING into my vagina
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
