So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
