Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
