dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
