I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize