I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Couch. On fire.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
