before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
