U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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