I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
