Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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