R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
