we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
