I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.