What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.