My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
