? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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