Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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