what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
