So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
