just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
