i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
