You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
