were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize