oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Sponge bath it is.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
