Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
