I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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