You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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