I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
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Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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