I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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