FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
