I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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