If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
