Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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