I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
