had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
this boner is exhausting
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
