Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The adults are the big ones right?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
