Your dad touched me again.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
