went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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