he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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