no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
