But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
