his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
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steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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