Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
