you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I understand Curling. That high.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
