She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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