You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
