Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize