if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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