OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I looked at my own cervix.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
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Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize