I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
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i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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