Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
